Letter for God

God, sometimes I wish you have your bloody personal email/whatsapp/phone number/sms/any bloody social media. I want to send all my grumble and pain to you. the grumble I can’t let out to the person who already hurts me. The grumble about how hard it is to forgive and instead of forgive them, I am getting anxious to that person. I still not do anything nasty, I am still being good, but I am scared and worried about whats next going to happen to me? what would be out from her mouth next? what would she ask next? what would she grumble about next? what things she will find in me to be something to grumble at?

God, what did I do to deserve this? what did I do to deserve to be insulted and labelled? is this another level of learning? God, please bless her so she can see to the future that life is actually will be better after they go separate way. Please bless her and makes her life happier so she doesn’t need to hurt others anymore.

God, I have no right to judge others. God, I have no right to comment about her life or what kind of life she has chosen. I am so sorry about that. Is that why she judge me too? Is that why she saying what she saying? well, I am sorry. I feel like I shouldn’t say sorry though, just because what I said is the truth. but ok….I am sorry because whatever she has done for her life or the way she lives her life is none of my business. because if she wants to use others and living with other people money is none of my business. I am sorry. it’s wrong for me to do that.

God, I wish I can have a job I love to do and I wish by working, I also can look after my children and not neglecting them in any reason. God, thank You for Your grace. because of You, I can be as far as I am now. because of You, I am where I am now. because of You, I still can feed my children and looking after them. because of You I am still finding little happiness in my stupid complicated life.

Thank you God.

=End=

Answer of your question

I can be men too. this is my mean post for you. I need to let it out from myself. I am sorry if I am being mean, this post might gonna get deleted after I past this situation though.

I don’t need to explain myself, but because you keep getting it wrong, I just want to let you know that I am not Indian. I am from asia, but I am not Indian. I kow you not that clever, but please…I am sure your IQ not that low too.

Right…you never ask question straight to my face. you always asking it to someone who associate with me. It is not the right thing to do. it’s your right to talk about me behind my back, but it’s just a not nice thing to do. get a life so you don’t need to make my life as your business.

who pay for the house? dad or her? The answer is…why do you need to know? I pay for the rent of the house full amount as what it says in the tenancy agreement. happy about that? NOW, I have question for you. since you live there and become his ex and ok…when you finally have a job, did you pay any penny for the house? did you pay any bill? did you at least treat him and your daughter for a take away (at least) since you earn money?

Its my man’s house, you live there without invitation from him. you just literally move in there without him asking you to be there. you just be there and never come back to your own place. why is that? since you there, what was your contribution to the house? you never pay bills, you never buy food, you get ready meals and its from my man’s credit card, you left dishes most of the time including when you invite your ‘lover’ to come over, you mess the house up and fill it up with your junk (coffee pot, unfinished projects, stone collection, coffee pot collection, wood collection). you not looking after him. you suffle him with ready meals and gain weight and told him you not interested in him because he being bigger than he used to be.

you bring this all to yourself to be fair. if there are none of those, you still having the family you wanted, and perhaps your daughter won’t be as mean as she was. she is better now, why? who told her to be good to you? kids not come with manual, but we as a parents needs to learn how to brought them up to be polite and kind hearted person. you showed her that is ok to be mean and say mean things. you showed her is ok to grumble behind people’s back. I am sorry, thats not how i want my daughter to be.

why your daughter doesn’t want to be in that house? because she has no good memories about that house and you. you insult her there and makes her feel miserable for herself in that house. the house is always messy and never been tidy. it’s not a normal way of living. she hates it because none of her friends living that way.

why your daughter so mean to you? well, its because you being mean to her. kids learning by doing. they copied. copied how they been treated.

The more I get to know you, the more I dislike you. that sounds really mean. I never grumble about you when you stay over night at my place. how sad is it to be able to relax after you have a drink? really sad. I am not a drinker, but now I turn into one just because I need to be relax in front of her. my mental health is wreaking and i am not proud of it.

I am lucky enough to not actually cutting my self to pieces.

the more I am going to another room, the better. I think is better if I actually going to another room and do my thing. I am here but I am not here. Is this rude? maybe. will she talk about my behaviour like this because I am going to another room? maybe…but…I have my reason why and if people talk to me, I can tell them why. I just try to give her space so I tried to hide…if that also become something bad she wants to talk then be it.

you called me child bride, little ting tong, and even ask me if I want to be with him for security (money). have you ever look at in the mirror before you say any of those? oh wait, you can’t even see a mirror literally.

you don’t want to sell the house when that house literally not even yours, you not even pay a penny for that house. you keep saying you don’t want to live in a box when you literally having 3 houses rented and you got all the rented money. I don’t understand you. I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. please do trust me, I want 0 things to do with you. I don’t want to care about your life. you’ll do good to mess your life up and I will not say anything about it. I will leave you to it. and I wish you not gonna burden my man and asking him to do stuff you need to do.

I am being so bitter. I might not deserve to be with a man like my man because he is so kind. he is very kind and help others a lot. put him self behind.

anyway, they painting the kitchen together now. just them as a family, I am here in the living room just by myself writing this. hopefully they enjoy them self. hopefully she can make this moment as a good moment between them as family.

=End=

April 2021

Plan for the end of this month should have makes me happy if it goes to plan. what is the plan? hoping things going forward. i am sure no body wants to have things going backwards. I can’t really let my self out at the moment. not really want to be here but the person I love are here.

right this sec, I just got a nice plant from her. who? Ali of course. since new years eve dinner, I been staying over here with them on the weekend. in 1 side I spending time with my man, in the other hand I probably being an annoying bitch just by being here for his ex. Some people not even gonna let their ex to bring their gf to their family home, Ali probably being a bigger person about it. not forget to mention that they not been a couple for over 10 years. first of all, it’s his house. they not been a couple for over 10 years.

she wants a day just her, my man, and their daughter (their family basically) without me here. I think its not unreasonable to ask, isn’t it? I been thinking to go away and just spent my weekend at my own place. I am going to leave early in the morning tomorrow. I think that would be a good idea. or maybe tonight at midnight? I probably just going to say this and not even do anything about it.

I am not happy here. she is not happy over here whilst I am here too. things getting awkward when I am here and both of us just don’t like each other that much. I probably need to just pull my self back for my own sake and her sake too. I really need to start to think about my mental health.

To be fair, I think this is just the time. the time for me to step back.

she doesn’t like me to be here interfier with her family life, and I don’t like to be here because it giving her more reason to dislike me even more and comment or grumble on whatever I do or done. my stomach hurting again like when I get my monthly visitor again. I guess it will be in it again soon. out of cycle. not healthy. this is all because of the anxious.

I can’t even see her face anymore. I am scared of what she going to say next. I know she doesnt want me to be here. I know its just getting a bit too much for her. I know she don’t really want to have anything to do with me. I don’t think she even know how it feel to wait to be able with my man. I am sure she has no idea how hurtful it is to just wait and see my man going home to his house and his ex which started to be ex from over 10 years ago still living there.

I will try to answer all her question next.

=End=

My Nice Weird new years celebration.

Started with the weirdness of the christmas day celebration. it was weird one. I was offering my boyfriend to have christmas together with his kid and his ex (the kid mother). she refused. sometimes I felt like she treated me as someone he cheat on. but from my boyfriend point of view, it wasn’t about us. it more about she worries that i will took over her motherhood towards her child. they don’t have a good relationship and the child doesn’t want to live with mummy. Despite on anything else, the father is barely become a bad cop in the family and by then, the mother trying her best to gave whatever the child one. in this case, making it no boundaries at all. she can sleep at midnight on school night and sleep about 2 or 3am in the morning on holiday. what time did she wakes up? the earliest she’ll be wake up mostly about 12 or 1pm in the afternoon. did that no boundaries thing helps her to gain love from the child? nope….nothing, she never appreciate every single thing about her mum. all she saw is how mum insulted her when she didn’t get the love she wanted from her own child, her only child. can’t blame her for that, because its the fact.

right…continue…

on christmas day I did my own christmas with my girls. I am lucky to have them this christmas and not having them on boxing day. we decided to have a video call when opening the present. my bf and his kid enjoyed it. the kid push the mother to said thank you to me (I gave present for her, I didn’t expect anything back. not even a thank you, just because I just think its a nice thing to do, especially she just an ex right? so i am sure he allowed to move on. right?), it took them 4 attempts to get her to see me. she finally sees me without I even prepared about my self. it was a shock and I just wing it, full of smile and cheerful despite on what had happened between us (full of gossip about me by her sister) and what she probably has believes about me at that point. She didn’t even sit down, she was standing up and looks like gonna go straight after I finished talking. I kept talking and smiling till I actually run out topic. we said bye and I considered that as went really well.

New years eve coming…

we started 2021 with a drama. I was literally saying happy new year to my self whilst I looked across the window. it hurts. you guys must thought that I spent time new years eve with him right? no I didn’t. well, its not fair to put it that way. I did spent time with him through video call, BUT when we did the count down….things happen. His child wanted to spend the night with us doing the last second of countdown, the child mother open the door and he turn the camera off. she was so mad looking her child with the dad for new years transition together. instead of just chilled about it, she was angry so so much about it, she assume things, the child cried and the father gets insulted. he didn’t do anything apart of video call with me and just enjoying tie to each other. I was like “why you even insulted him?” so ungrateful…I hate it! and guess what? she didn’t even say sorry. not even after he mentioned her about it. She just gave him 1000s reason to not going to help her. He still going to help her of course. he is not mean person and always be kind.

=End=

Happy new year 2021 & grumble about others too.

Hi everyone! Happy new year!

I wish you had a good christmas celebration and a good new years. Did you mix around? is it with bubble or with everyone?

looking at the number of the cases in the blessed virus, My anxiety about out and about getting higher. Keeping myself to myself more. telling my neighbor off to not seeing me. we can’t be a bubble if she met with others or being in public. Because I have my bubble and I stick to it. Luckily that my bubble are the same where they appreciate my anxiety too. so they also not go anywhere and we stick stay home and just mix with our bubble.

I think its enough opening the blog with the blessed virus.

well, my new years start badly and sadly just saying happy new year to myself whilst I stare out the window. I should have had my new years eve with my lovely boyfriend through video call..when we actually count down (few second before new years), his ex was open the bedroom door and getting very angry because of their daughter and him was excluded her for new years countdown. it hurts for us, it turn to a horrible new year day in the first few minutes of it, some insult get out the mouth and drama with tears. anger and hate in the air by her.

I will tell more about it in the next blog.

FOR 2021 :

I wish this 2021 will bring us a better year. please stay safe guys. I understand that no one to be lock in all the time, missing holidays etc. but please…if you want the blessed virus is gone, we need to work together. don’t go for a holiday abroad if you can be selfless. do not mix with public or someone not in your bubble for now. at least until he blessed virus gone away. come on UK, we can do it!

stay home, stay with your bubble, don’t mix with someone who just been abroad, if you abroad then isolate yourself for 14 days even though the country you went was not in the list of quarantine for 14 days. it only for protect your surrounding. isn’t it better when you the one caught it because you being selfish to go out abroad without giving it to anyone else? or you feel better when you actually can spread it to other people? yes, I know some people are mean. they invite others to their place when they know they are positive covid. nasty and a very disgusting thing to do. well, some people are like that though.

Anyway guys…come on..when the PM can’t even take control of the situation, we are the one need to take our own action. use your common sense. we got brain God gave us. use it please. safe people around you. be selfless not selfish. at the end of the day, we all connected. this is showing how we are failing as society by seeing how many of us spread the virus and didn’t protect others who around us.

enough for now guys. enjoy your 2021. be selfless please. think about your surrounding. before you want to meet anyone, better making appointment with them and both of you can isolate (not mixing with public for 14 days) together and then see each other. thats the safe way for now. other than that, it scary. bye everyone.

don’t let your lock down sacrifice getting useless now by being stupidly going out and selfish then making you and your family caught the blessed virus. all your sacrifice of lock down become pointless if you get the virus now. protect others!

=End=

Self doubt

Remembering to live in a trap for 9 years and feel under control. get married, have children. that’s one of the thing making me feel like I am in a trap. I didn’t want to marry that guy. NO I definitely didn’t want him. no idea how many times I said no and he just keep push push push push push until get what he wants.

get told that I used to be nice person and now I just a bitch. I am going to kill you. you such a slut. no body will ever put up with you like I do.

I been thinking if I am such a bad person. I don’t know what is actually I do which is good for people around me? is being in the relationship is something I have to regret? I feel so empty. My life is empty. I have no purpose in life. no education. My year passing by and I still have nothing. what can I actually do? teacher? or teaching assistant? counselor? what am I supposed to do with my life? I don’t even know what I want.

I want to have a job. but I can’t even find a job. everything need to have some sort of certificate or something. I am not sure what I can do for now.anyone can help me?? who even asking a job in a bloody blog when you know you already tell about your messy life?

I really do need a part time job though. argh…

=end=

One of those days

When that tittle comes up, who would think it will be positive? hah…mostly its negative isn’t it? it is negative for me…but perhaps, its positive for you…

I probably having like 300 days of one of those days and 65 normal days…what a miserable person to be with. haha…

Today, I was woke up with a stupid mind…tired brain…with heavy heart…thinking that I will never have someone to be faithful to me. thinking I only good for become second. I kick that mind of for few hours. and it came back to me in the afternoon. I couldn’t handle it. I cried, and cried till I can’t breath…remembering how bad I am as a person, how I never good enough for 9 years, how I am a person whose hard to loved.

basically, I am feeling sorry for my self.

Questioning my self if I am ever going to be good enough for anyone. thinking I am so fucked up rely my self on someone and now I just basically screw my self up. if the person goes, then what? that’s it then…I am done. probably going to lose my children and become homeless. not sure.

I am not good enough to be considered to get to know by someone, why am I good enough to even be with someone? it just doesn’t make any sense. Is this me feeling like this? whats wrong with me?

I don’t feel love, I don’t feel anyone even care about me today. it feels like people around me just love me when I am happy. when I am sad, that’s it. i am alone. it’s like I am not even allow to say what i feel. I am not even allow to express what I feel. not sure if it’s even true.

I don’t actually know what am I allow to feel or not feel anymore. I get told to stop talk about it. stop talk about what i feel? is it what its mean? why do I feel so much pressure to keep everything to my self?

anyway…night night

=end=

Letter to Ali

Dear Ali,

I don’t know you well enough to say all of this. I only know from 1 side of the story. but from what i heard, i can’t stop my self to feel hurt and think about what you’ve done and say.

I will treat this like a suicide letter where I will let everything out of my chest because it weight me down. Everyone thinking that you are so fragile, are you that fragile, naughty girl?

How many truth you not open about yourself to others? you put others in the spotlight. you made your daughter have bad name on your sisters’s and parents’s eyes. you made your ex has bad name on their life too and also on your neighbour eyes too!! it’s a wow!! Next thing you’ll say…”I don’t mean it that way”. of course Ali…nothing is your fault…it always somebodies else’s fault. you can’t see it that you bring it to yourself.

do you even tell them that you sleep with a married man who was a builder in your house…plus, he not even finished the job. how rude…to fuck someone you work for and didn’t finish up the job. He need to grow his ball and be responsible about his job and tell his bloody wife…”oh my lady, I am bored with you…I have sex with Ali my naughty girl!”.

you know Ali, you need to stop that double standard you put on…you bring the man to the house and fuck him. why can’t your ex bring his real gf to the house for dinner? ck ck ck ck ck…shake my head…Ali Ali…I know you live there for over 10 years…are you invited to live there? or you live there for sometimes because you house was a tip and you can’t be there anymore? I don’t know that side of story enough..

Another thing…I don’t have any intention to replace you as a mother. I have my 2 children and that’s enough for me to be a mother, I am not craving to be a mother because I already am. I treat your daughter the same like I treat my children just because I don’t want her to feel like she not accepted. we accept her for who she is. I used to have someone work for my family since I was little and when I have my own family, I have someone work for me full time live in. I treat them just like family. So of course I won’t treat your daughter which is daughter of my bf any different than my own, but it doesn’t mean I am a new mother and my bf also not a new dad for my children. why? because there is no such a thing!!

you probably heard from my liar neighbour Tess about “we going to move with our new dad”. guess what? my children never know there is such a thing call new dad!! they have their own dad. this is just a moral message….my parents thought me this…probably Tess Parents never thought her this, that why she maybe only has a little moral (just because she lies on my childrens name).

There no such a thing called Ex Mother, Ex Father, Ex Sister, Ex Brother. Doesn’t matter how bad your family are, they are still your family.

My oldest brother did sexual harassment to me, trust me….I don’t want to call him as my brother. I want to write him off my list…deep down, I know he is my brother. I don’t need to talk to him or his wife or his family. But there is nothing I can do about changing my relation to him. he is my brother. he is my asshole brother. someone who don’t deserve any attention from me or my family.

So please…stop thinking I will replace you as a mother. because i won’t…thats a bullshit excuse!!

I understand I have a huge age gap with my bf, why is it your problem? you not with him for over 10 years right? but still live in his house, I understand if you became dependent financially and makes you not move out or split up properly yet. but why your ex have gf who younger than him became your problem and tell people about it? you want somebody in your age right? that’s your right. you sleep with someone else husband, is the wife know? what would she feels if she found out about it? they are married. or they not couple anymore like you and your ex in the last over 10 years?

I am getting bitter aren’t I? you tell your family how horrible your child is to you. Did you tell them that you said to your child face that you wish she more like other child which is her own friend?? that is hurt, did you tell them you call your child a horrible child? did you tell them that you called your child little hitler? you made your child has bad name on your family’s eyes. its not fair…because you not telling them the whole story. you made your ex name’s bad too. its always you look good and fragile. never other person.

Am I wrong to be with your ex? Do you want him back? can you look after him? you can’t even look after a house. you neglected a beautiful house with tons of coffee pots and woods and any other thing. He is a good man you know. I don’t know why you don’t want him. I don’t know why you didn’t love him. I don’t know why you didn’t adore him. why didn’t you make a home for him? why didn’t you be the place where he can be relax and chill? why took him away from his family? why didn’t you put effort get to know him and see him as him?

He is a lovely man. I don’t understand why you waste such a man.

=End=

Ex and Current Partner Relationship

Based on my chat with my friend and with her consent to put it in the blog after she checked it. Basically, she needs help and any input or opinion would be appreciate it. Thank you.

Her side of story :

Interesting topic to be open up, yes. Today I will talk about relationship between ex and current partner. Right, lets makes this experience open up.

When I split up with my ex in a few years back, I never thought about hating anyone in his life unless they are mean to me. I didn’t have a friendly relationship with his ex, but I also never fight with her. we spoke when we need to. there was time where we actually sat down and chat with laugh and also there were time we exchange gifts until everything stop since she tried to get every penny from my ex when we were still married. I dislike her then, but i never be in the middle of them. I never spoke to her at all since. Now, I am in position where he has a new partner and she seems pleasant to see and speak to even though I only speak to her briefly. I am not gonna go down being very friendly, there will be time where we can be in that position I suppose. I just can’t be around my ex too much.

I am now in position of having a new partner and step children, this is what I found really hard and hurt me. My partner’s child is very close to me compare to her mother, I understand as a mother my self, it would be very hurt when I found out that my baby love their dad’s girlfriend more than they loves me. *But to be honestly I know my children like his gf and I don’t have any problem with it*. that is one of the problem, another problem…she seems like she hates me and I have no idea why. she found out that I messages her daughter the other night and she mention to my bf that she was surprise to find a grown woman like me messaging her kid. Well, I am ok to be judge. I gave her gift on christmas, and I think she threw it away. never heard anything about it. The oven on the house was broken and she told my bf about it which made him mention it to me so I found something decent and bought it from my friend. she hates it, she said it makes her kitchen ugly so she put it away. It seems like everything I do is wrong.

I have no idea what to do, I just thinking I need to get a long in some stage just because her kid is close to me and they seems like not get along, they always fight and none of them being nice to each other. she just need to get lit then she will turn to be someone who seems nice to a monster. I know it wont help their relationship to each other.

what am I supposed to do to show her that I don’t hate her or I am not a nasty woman. what am I supposed to do just so she can see that I am not there to take her child away? (if that’s what she concern).

I don’t understand what I supposed to do. help

*Any help will be pass onto her*

=END=

Respect from your child

Question…

How to gain respect from your own child?

Answer…

Respect them….Accept them…

again…this is my opinion, everyone is different, every child is different. every parents are different, they have their own way how to raise a child and I am not the best parents in the world I know but I am trying my best not to be the one who put a scar in their heart.

scar? what do you mean?

I learn very quickly to stop saying bad stuff about your child, either to them or to others (worse). yes, my mum call me names, insult me, and it hurts. i hated her for it. did I respect her then? no, in my eyes she is just a meany and i won’t do what she ask me to do, and it made me have a thought that “I don’t want to be a mother like her”. this is what makes me to treat my kids the way i am. my mother not so bad as a mother after i am not in the house anymore though. so, our relationship are better now, way better than it was when we were at 1 house.

I remember I said to my child that she is stupid. and when i ask her why you do this? (few days after) and her answer was, because i am stupid. it cut my heart. i said sorry straight away. and then i realise, just because its not as harsh as what my mum said to me (whore, ungrateful child,etc), BUT it doesn’t mean have different effect on their heart. it still hurting them. I know some parents call their child a monster, stupid child, demond, big liar, difficult child. please please please…pack it in…put yourself in their position and look what would you feel when your mum do that to you and you’re that young. please… you can have a sit and say sorry about it and LISTEN on what they feel about it. LISTEN on what they actually wants from you as a mum, as a parents. thats how to gain their respect! by LISTEN to them. this is also connected with my last blog. honesty.

what if they way talking to us is so rude? well, listen to yourself when you speak to them whilst you angry to them. maybe it. i listen to my 8 years old angry just like i am…yep…just like me to her little sister. mirror eh? not fun…but I only can remind her to angry calmly everytime she is being bitchy.

kids are also human, just like us. you think just because of you’re parents then you are the right one? NO..we made mistakes too…A LOT…A LOT of mistakes as a parent…again, its not important…what important is…how you deal with your mistakes…how you fix it…

is by doing what my kids ask can gain respect from them? my answer are NO…

some kids just taking their parents for granted, of course they are…me too. won’t deny that. I am not like my sister who can do the sweet talk ass licker to get what she wants. i am more like a demanding child who wants my things. i will ask 1 2 3 times and get angry about it after so many no…i don’t expect my kids gonna be like that though…hahaha…trust me, they are worse than me. hahahaha…I am not surprise…but if i rethink….nah, they not actually not that bad. tell them to do it with you…so they know how hard or tiring it is doing what they ask so they can appreciate your effort and time, and hungry feelings whilst you working on that project. they’ll appreciate you more there.

I respect what they want to do for themself. i have 2 children btw folks…all girls. 8 and 4 years old. don’t ask me how young i am. respect. hah…need to tell the fact that i have an additional lovely daughter too and she is 13…yes…13 going on 30. Gosh…she is lovely…i tell you about her next. parental consent.

right, talking about respect for 8 and 4 years old…i don’t treat them like their age. i ask them to help around in the house just like an adult. i treat them like they are my roommate until a certain degrees of course. I can’t expect they make dinner for the family can they? certain degree…they cant even vacuum the house yet…too heavy the vacuum cleaner for them. but, they can prepare the table before dinner, feeding the animals, change water for animals, change their own clothes, put their clothes away tidily in their wardrobe after I iron it for them. right, i still help the 4 years old one when she makes a mess of it.but at least she comes to me and ask my help for it. this is what i want, she tells me when she can’t do it! I love that…and….we did it TOGETHER. not you doing it for them…WE doing it TOGETHER…

I respect them to TRY doing it by themselves, I said thank you when they come to me and said, i done it mummy..and i will say, thank you baby. why? because they help me…help me to teach them looking after themselves.

the one thing I am worried about me is…what if I die before this children grow up and able to look after themselves? who will look after them? its my job to teach them simple stuff as prepare the dinner table, put the clothes away tidily, put things where its belongs, pick up some stuff and put it away, tidy their own room, their bed. the hard job for parents are making sure that your children can stand on their own 2 feet. not just by education side of view, but also in manners because they will need it to get along with other human being and animal, also in simple stuff such looking after a house and build your house to be a home for you, believe in themselves no matter where you are, even when you’re alone, everything going to be ok and you are strong enough to stand and survive.

being a kid are a hard work, why? we are parents are hard work…yes of course….we are parents doing a bloody hard job too…we never stop learning do we? we were a kid once…no body born in an adult body and able to do everything already right? come on…children has long way to go…how old are you? how old are your children? look, for going to your age right now, its a long way and it needs to be filled for something useful for their future. again…respect them…they want to have a life too, just like we are.

yes we might have them for bloody 9 months in our tummy…again, it doesn’t give you the right to keep them under your armpit…yep…armpit…stink there…not good…whats happen then? rebels….who want to get the stink from the armpit? i am sure if your partner put you in their armpit, you will wriggle and wriggle until you set yourself free…same here for a child. they don’t want to be press down. they want to express themself. every child born with their character, we can’t change it. character…not manners…we been taught about manners but we have our own character. in my opinion, my 4 years old having very strong character, she is funny and she knows what she wants to do that day, Do i let her do everything she wants? yes and no, she can do what she wants after she done her chores. shower, get dress, drink milk, finished her breakfast, etc etc, and i tried my best not to help her or just do very minimum help. why? because she able to do it. or i believe so. I can’t change my child character, i embrace it…BUT, i gave them more point of view, more example, more explanation about life, about how to behave to others, how to behave to elderly, how to respect other people will, how to respect other life, how to respect the way people choose to live.

by doing what your kids ask you to do it wont gain the respect from them unless they realise that what you done is actually tiring and time consuming. harsh? yeah…they won’t know.

washing clothes, ironing, clean and tidy house, hot dinner on time on the table, snack box always full, clean plates, bowl, and glass, they won’t see it how tiring it is sometimes to keep all those thing together, so how could they appreciate us when we doing all that? get them involve. depending on their age, give them the chore. it won’t be as good as when you doing it, but you can help them and tell them, this is how it supposed to look like after you done that. thats it. and thats where the respect gain.

do not expect big respect from them straight away just because you done the hot dinner tonight, because it won’t be there. its something you build in time, constant. the key are…you guys need to listen to each other and tell them what you actually want from your child and listen to what your child actually want from you as parent. it won’t be easy…but trust me…it worth a million…

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